Valentines Day

I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday and we were asking each other what our plans were for Valentines Day. He told me his plans and I told him that I had none. Over the course of our short conversation (it was short because we had just gotten off work and were ready to get home) he changed my mind on Valentines Day. Perhaps he didn't change my mind, but he reminded me about something that I forgot.

First of all, my thoughts on Valentines Day: People always complain every year that Christmas is a holiday invented by the toy and greeting card companies to make money. While that may be true to some small degree, Valentines Day is 100% that very day! Now the 'origin' of Valentines Day goes back to a cleansing, health and fertility festival in Ancient Rome, so there is an aspect of love and hearts and all that (or at least fertility) back to the beginning, but it wasn't until the 1500s that people began exchanging gifts, cards and candy to show affection for another. And THAT happened after February 14th was dedicated to honor St. Valentine (in the 5th century) on a day attempted to Christianize the now-bastardized pagan festival that had replaced what the Ancient Romans had once celebrated. Some sources even give credit to Geoffrey Chaucer for making it the affectionate holiday we now know today. In any case, I'm not denying that this holiday may actually have origins in love and affection, but what we celebrate today is, in my opinion, dumb.

How my friend changed my views yesterday is he agreed with me to some degree. He said as an adult, yes it's dumb. But as a kid, it's a great holiday. And he's right! Remember being in 3rd grade, seeing that girl sitting across the class that for some unknown reason sticks out from all the other girls in class. You made sure to pick out your best valentine for her, and hoped silently that you got one from her. It's fun. It's a fun day as a child. I do remember getting and giving valentines up until about 6th grade or so, and it was fun to see what you got, and especially to find out who liked you back! But after middle and high school, why do we celebrate it?

How much stronger will your marriage/relationship be if you stop celebrating Valentines Day? Pick a day, any day, August 19? April 23? Without telling your significant other, go buy him/her flowers and their favorite candy. Why? Just because! You love this person, and they love you. You are in an active relationship; why limit going all out to show that special someone how special they are on one publicly celebrated day in February? On top of the fact that flowers are more expensive on Valentines Day and that restaurants are full of other couples taking up just two seats at a six-top table at your favorite place to eat, it's not at all original to celebrate today. People have been doing it since the 1500s, do you really think you're the first? Proposing in tulips from a hot air balloon, naming a star in her honor, getting the same picture with her every single Valentines Day since you first met, they've all been done. Be original. Pick a day in the middle of the year when neither of you have anything going and surprise your significant other with your own day to show affection. Do that and tell me your relationship isn't stronger.

For those of you reading thinking I'm just a pissed off single man who can't find a girl to be with, know that roughly 60% of Americans celebrate this 'magical' day. That means at least some portion of 40% of people agree with me. I'm married and got lucky enough to marry a woman who agrees with me. 5 years of marriage and I don't know if either of us has ever said 'Happy Valentines Day' to the other. But I do randomly bring home flowers from work, and have been known to bring home a 1 lb bag of Skittles for her. And sometimes she even shares the Skittles with me!

So for those of you younguns who are trying to figure out why that girl who just gave you a Hunger Games valentines card makes you feel funny inside, Happy Valentines Day to you! And to everyone else, Happy Valentines Day too, but think about making that special someone feel special everyday, not just today.