Controversial topics

Je tiens à remercier les gens en France qui lisent mon blog!

Whether your belief in the history of the world comes from the Bible, from history & science books or from cave drawings whose dates can only be estimated to thousand-year time frames, one thing is certain: people have been fighting and not getting along for as long as we have record. Drawings on walls of ancient tombs in the middle east depict great battles, the Bible speaks of great battles, and, as George Lucas has informed us, this has been going on since a long time ago (and apparently not just in our galaxy). People today find hundreds of reasons to hate each other, just as they have done since...always.

Growing up, when myself or any of my sisters were being sensitive or over dramatic, my father would use a phrase that my sisters and I now look back on with fondness and a smile. My oldest sister Kristi and I were living in our apartment not long after she graduated high school and we decided to go to Blockbuster (remember those?!) and rent a movie. We settled on Stripes, because we like Bill Murray and we had both heard it's a comedy classic. A quarter of the way through the movie we were shocked and laughed real hard when we found that our dad's phrase was actually a phrase used by Sgt Hulka. Even though the movie is older than my sisters and me, we all still consider it our dad's saying: "Lighten up, Francis."

In the news lately it seems all we hear about are 'controversial topics.' Racism, abortion, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, the success/failure of President Obama, gay rights, etc. People protest, riot, kill, starve themselves and get their blood pressure all boiled up over these topics. If you ask me, I think a good first step to resolve most of these issues is for everyone to lighten up! Believe it or not (and for people 30 and under, this may be hard to believe) but these issues AREN'T new! All of the 'controversial topics' I listed have been mainstream news for anywhere from 30 years to thousands of years. The first thing that we need to do is to lighten up, and realize that the person across from you, getting you all riled up, is in fact a person too. They may not be perfect, but nether are you! So you disagree with their views on politics, and you think they are completely wrong. Good. They think something differently than you do about your government leaders. Good. Just because their views are different than yours, why do you have to hate them?

One of the reasons (and quite possibly the only reason) I pay attention to my friends/family/coworkers talking about 'controversial topics' is because I can learn from the conversation. Not only can I learn two opposing views of the topic, I get to learn how the people involved act, react and how they truly feel. I personally have friends who vigorously support gay marriage and I have friends who vehemently oppose it. I have a number of friends who are gay and a couple of them have been married in the states in which they live. When I see two people arguing, coming close to blows while discussing why it's right or wrong, the part that bothers me isn't their views, it's the fact that they can't accept that they both have an opinion. There is no understanding (even though the phrase 'I understand your point' or 'I see where you're coming from, but...' are often used in those conversations.) If you were to ask me, I would give you my view and I will openly listen to yours. I won't get mad because I've learned that life's too short to argue about 'controversial topics' and that getting your blood boiling isn't good for anyone. Will we agree? Maybe. Will my views on you as a person change if we disagree, probably not. While I have not perfected it yet, I'm learning and trying to lighten up.

Think of the opportunities and friendships you may be missing out on because of your stubbornness. When I was in high school, I had a buddy who I was good friends with. We'd hang out, go snowmobiling and snowboarding, got along great. Then one day, out of the blue, he severed all contact with me. After a few weeks of pestering him for an answer, he finally explained to me that because of something he had read online, about my religious preference, we could no longer be friends. I was saddened not only to lose his friendship over such a silly reason, but also because the information he had read was incorrect, and did not say anything true about my religious preference and the topic he was researching. I guarantee that a little open mindedness on his part, and probably some better explaining on mine, would have changed the way our friendship turned out. And similar example can be found in the lives of just about every person on earth.

Lighten up. Don't just claim to understand someone's views, truly try to understand them. Then when you do understand them and still don't agree with them, leave it at that. Neither of you are breaking the law by having and voicing your opinion. Learn from one another. You can be open minded and still keep your personal beliefs. If you're pro-life, you can have friends that are pro-choice. If you disagree with gay marriage, you can still have homosexual friends. Have an open mind and don't be afraid of what you'll learn from another person. Forget your racial, religious and financial differences and think about them as a human being. They've probably got similar hopes and dreams as you do. It's uptight, ignorant and closed-minded people that prevent progress. Don't be a person that prevents progress.