How has my life changed since I began twitching? For one thing, I can't sit still anymore! I consider myself very fortunate to have finished high school before my tics began. I get made fun of for it enough as an adult and I can't imagine how hard that would have been during elementary and middle school. I very much look up to children who go to school everyday with tics and twitches and are able to persevere. And I have to give a shout out to their friends who do not have any tics of their own and see past them and stand up for their friends when needed. My friends joke around with me and give me a hard time about my tics, but I know they would (and have experienced them) stand up for me when another person takes the joking too far. If you have a good, close friend who has tics, let me tell you that even though they may not say it, your friendship means a lot. Probably more than you realize. To the buddies I have and have had, thank you very much!
My tics are predominantly in my neck, shoulders and upper torso, though I have had them all over my body. Tics change and evolve over time. No two people with tics twitch alike. We're all unique. Mine involve a lot of head movement and jerking of my shoulders and neck. When my wife or children lay their heads on my shoulder it triggers a tic in my shoulder blade which ends up bouncing their heads around like popcorn in the kettle! I feel bad about that but they're used to it. I also have many tics based on obsessive compulsive disorder. I walk around waving all of the time, not only because I'm friendly :), but because shadows, pictures and mirrors cause me to twitch! I can't tell you how many people I've met and friends I've made (and people I've freaked out) by randomly waving as I walk around. While they think I'm simply waving, I'm actually twitching. It's not a normal wave either. It's sort of a mix of "Hello" with "be gone" and a little "wave like a royal cross dresser." I think the type of wave is what freaks people out. They're thinking, 'is he saying hello? is he shooing me away like a fly? Is he flirting with my husband?' Regardless of what people think, I am friendly and usually try to pass it off as a friendly gesture of greeting.
Some of my tics are embarrassing! When I am trying to subdue my tics, they move toward my trunk. No, I'm not a freaking elephant, the trunk is the torso. (not that I would turn down the opportunity to have an elephant trunk...) So while you can't see it unless you know what to look for, I am still twitching. Now, what happens when you quickly contract your stomach muscles? Everything gets compressed. So now lets imagine you just at Mexican food, my wife's favorite. You're full of a delicious chimichanga, beans with cheese, rice and chips with cheese dip. Now you get all that inside your gut and compress it rapidly and repeatedly. The BEST case scenario is that it pushes food UP and I get heartburn. The worst case (and the funniest/embarrassing case) is the gasses get pushed DOWN aaaaand....I can clear out a large room rather quickly. Sometimes, after a good large meal, I sound like an elephant, and smell like the monkey cage at the zoo. Now a mature person would pass gas like that and move on with life, but, given the scenario, I'm not a mature person. I like to blame other people first -and sometimes the dog- or pretend I didn't hear anything, before finally claiming it. If it's a good enough one, I may have to claim it straight up with my chest puffed out and head held high. (this is not the mature side of me my wife married.) But it can be embarrassing so I joke about it. Cracking one off on a first date like that is hard to overcome, but I've done it!
My tics truly are very mild. I have met a number of people with TS whose tics are much more violent and serious than mine. I recently met two men who can't drive because their tics are so bad. While my joking personality helps me cope, I realize every day that my tics really are nothing compared to some people who have them. I don't try to 'play up' my tics or situation any worse than they are. I am who I am, and I hope that me being me can help people understand and continue to persevere.
