Happy Thanksgiving to all who may be celebrating it this week! It's one of my favorite holidays; a chance to meet up with family, watch the beauty of the earth transforming to its winter colors, and hear relatives you don't see very often groan and shake their heads in disgust as they leave the bathroom they've just destroyed. Not to mention football. What a holiday!
Some years ago in church we were challenged to say an entire prayer of thanksgiving. Instead of asking for things, spend the entire prayer thinking about the blessings in your life and express gratitude for them and ask for nothing. As I took that challenge I realized that I have so much more to be thankful for than I really ever imagined. At the time I had a job that I did not like. But every week I met with people who didn't have jobs and were struggling to feed their children. I learned quickly that I truly was thankful for the job I despised. A lot of times the things we want can blur our mind to what we have. You may want something, and then you want another thing, and more and more, then before you realize it you have everything and think you have nothing. Every now and then I will take a minute to stop and think about what I truly have and even though it's not a million dollars in the bank and it's not the newest, nicest things, I really have very little reason to complain.
One of the odd things in my life that I am grateful for are challenges. Like all humans, I have suffered many challenges. My challenges are worse than some peoples, and at the same time mine don't even compare in magnitude to other peoples. I've always taken challenges as a learning opportunity. I've had some bosses that were difficult to work with but from them I learned what type of supervisor I don't want to be. When I've failed at an assignment or project, I have used it to make my next work better. Challenges give us the opportunity to learn about ourselves and how much better we can be. They're not always fun and can sometimes be a long term issue that we have to deal with, but they can really push us to our limits and show others what we are made of. For those reasons, I am thankful for the challenges I've faced in life.
I hope everybody had a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving! The Holiday season is upon us. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or none of the above, this is a great time of year to spend time with loved ones and enjoy food and festivities. The weather gets colder, the drinks get hotter and for some reason people will kiss each other under a parasitic plant and blame it on the eggnog when their wives find out. Happy Holidays indeed!
And finally: GO SEAHAWKS!
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Update!
In the winter/spring of 2013, National Geographic followed my family and me around Little Rock for awhile, filming the everyday aspects of our lives and my going through the hiring process with the fire department. I had a blast with the cameras around and meeting with the various camera operators and sound techs and producers. I was hoping Life with Tourette’s would be a season-long show, but only one episode was aired and I didn’t hear anything else from it. (And I actually can’t find it ANYWHERE! I’ve had a few people ask to see it, and I have no idea if there’s record of it anywhere, so if any of you computer savvy internet geniuses know where to find it, let me know!!) So I thought since the show kind of left people hanging on what happened to me, I’d update y’all now.
Since the show I did in fact get hired on the FD. I worked hard and waited a long time to get the job, and I was ecstatic when I got the call from the chief of the Little Rock Fire Department offering me the job. I get to go to work now every day (well, actually it’s every 3rd day) at what I think is the greatest job in the world! One thing that didn’t make the airwaves was me walking into the fire department for the first time with a whole entourage of people with cameras, microphones and clipboards. The FD was nice enough to play along but I was quickly reminded how generally unhappy they were about the surprise visit. They lived though, and now I get to be one of those guys I used to look up to when a fire truck went racing by.
I’ve developed a number of new tics since the show. A person with Tourette’s has tics that change over time. Some tics get better, some get worse, and some new ones develop while old ones go away. In the show I was hitting myself in the back of the neck pretty hard and regularly. I don’t do that so much anymore, which is nice! That particular tic hurt!! But one tic I’ve had for a long time, touching the eyes of pictures and in mirrors (which is more of an OCD based tic than a neurological tic,) has gotten worse. I started to poke other people in the eye! I only did it for a couple days to my children before working really hard to change that tic. I definitely don’t want to hurt them! And…I don’t want to get punched in the face. At work one night we were loading our hose back onto the engine after a fire and I reached up and almost poked a co-worker in the eye. I stopped myself because if I did that, and he decked me, I wouldn’t have blamed him one bit! So that is the most recent ‘new tic’ that I am working on. I no longer poke my kids in the eyes, but I still run my hands over their face, which my almost-3-year-old has told me is “noying Daddy.”
Other than a new job and new tics, we’ve also added a new member to the family! When my daughter was born I didn’t think I could love anyone or anything as much as I love her. Then my son was born and I found out the amazing feelings of love and happiness that come from having two. I go to work every day and smile because I love my job, then I come home from work and have a bigger smile because I get to have these two waiting for me when I walk in. Addie turns 3 next month and Dallin just hit 6 months, and both are growing like weeds! They are without a doubt the greatest joy in my life.
I’ve also had the chance to meet new friends since I was on the show. (What’s up Tyler!) I have a lot of fun talking with others who have or know people with TS and just get to know them and hear their stories. The news and current events make you believe otherwise, but I think most people are awesome. Every person is different than the next and that is what makes the world interesting.
Life changes and I’ve learned to embrace it. Some changes are big, major changes that alter your whole life while others are so minor that other people don’t notice. But that’s all part of life. Roll with the punches, even if you’re throwing them at yourself!
I’ve developed a number of new tics since the show. A person with Tourette’s has tics that change over time. Some tics get better, some get worse, and some new ones develop while old ones go away. In the show I was hitting myself in the back of the neck pretty hard and regularly. I don’t do that so much anymore, which is nice! That particular tic hurt!! But one tic I’ve had for a long time, touching the eyes of pictures and in mirrors (which is more of an OCD based tic than a neurological tic,) has gotten worse. I started to poke other people in the eye! I only did it for a couple days to my children before working really hard to change that tic. I definitely don’t want to hurt them! And…I don’t want to get punched in the face. At work one night we were loading our hose back onto the engine after a fire and I reached up and almost poked a co-worker in the eye. I stopped myself because if I did that, and he decked me, I wouldn’t have blamed him one bit! So that is the most recent ‘new tic’ that I am working on. I no longer poke my kids in the eyes, but I still run my hands over their face, which my almost-3-year-old has told me is “noying Daddy.”
Other than a new job and new tics, we’ve also added a new member to the family! When my daughter was born I didn’t think I could love anyone or anything as much as I love her. Then my son was born and I found out the amazing feelings of love and happiness that come from having two. I go to work every day and smile because I love my job, then I come home from work and have a bigger smile because I get to have these two waiting for me when I walk in. Addie turns 3 next month and Dallin just hit 6 months, and both are growing like weeds! They are without a doubt the greatest joy in my life.
I’ve also had the chance to meet new friends since I was on the show. (What’s up Tyler!) I have a lot of fun talking with others who have or know people with TS and just get to know them and hear their stories. The news and current events make you believe otherwise, but I think most people are awesome. Every person is different than the next and that is what makes the world interesting.
Life changes and I’ve learned to embrace it. Some changes are big, major changes that alter your whole life while others are so minor that other people don’t notice. But that’s all part of life. Roll with the punches, even if you’re throwing them at yourself!
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Buck Tooth Beaver
First things first: Happy Veterans Day to all who are serving, those who have served, those who gave their lives for this country, and to the families that have supported them all through everything. I thank you for my freedom and for everything that you have provided me!
When I tell a joke, either to a big crowd or just a small group of people, I make fun of people only under one of two conditions: first, the person I make fun of is me, because I know I won’t hurt my own feelings; or second, I make sure the person I am making fun of is a friend of mine whom I know I will not offend with the joke. (Except my wife. She never knows when I make jokes about her, but “I do” came with an unwritten clause that jokes will be made on her behalf, and there’s nothing she can do about it. :) So I won’t make fun of a person right off the bat, and often times not even the first couple of times I meet them. I get to know people, what kind of sense of humor they have and how much they can take before I start cracking on them. (This formula has not always worked, and even though I thought I was in the clear, I have inadvertently hurt feelings before and it made me feel terrible when I realized it! That has never been my intention.)
The reason I choose to do this is because when my baby teeth fell out and my adult teeth grew in, Goofy was jealous! My two front teeth were MONSTERS! Look at those things, holy smokes! NASA could relay signals off those things. They’re still pretty big, but my face is finally fatter now than it was in 3rd grade. I got called Buck Tooth Beaver for 3rd and most of 4th grade. And it hurt. I think the last time I was called that, by someone other than my sisters, was 5th grade. 7th and 8th grade I got picked on more for getting better grades than my bullies (notice I said BETTER grades than them, and not GOOD grades. Because only in my head are “C”s good grades) and for my fashion sense. But that’s what happens when you chose to style yourself after Corey Matthews from Boy Meets World. Now, if I had tried to dress more like Shawn Hunter instead, maybe they wouldn’t have talked so much trash. He was cool. I was just curly hair away from calling myself Corey! But because I know how it feels when someone makes fun of you when you don’t want it, I try my hardest to make certain that the jokes I tell and the teasing I take part in is in pure fun. No malice or hurt feelings intended at all.
Unfortunately my method of teasing and joke telling isn’t the most common way it is done. A lot of people tease and pick on people for numerous reasons. From elementary school throughout adulthood, it happens. Even as an adult I have avoided walking through certain hallways or talking to certain people because I know there are people who don’t know when they’ve crossed the line, or perhaps they know and don’t care. Now I have pretty thick skin, and it takes a bit to truly offend me, but it still happens.
To kids being bullied may I offer a simple bit of advice? Confront your bully. I had one kid in 7th and 8th grade who picked on me constantly. I finally told him that I'd had enough and that he needed to knock it off. Much to my surprise, he apologized! He told me that he thought that it had all been in fun and that he didn’t know it was hurtful to me. We lived in the same neighborhood for about another year and he never did it again. We would wave in the hallways and he more or less ignored me after that. Kids have a funny way of thinking, and as a kid yourself you may not understand that yet, but trust me you do. I can’t guarantee it will work, but the first step I would suggest is to tell your bully to knock it off. (Then if that doesn’t work, punch him in the junk and run as fast as you can!)
On a serious note, if you are being bullied, picked on or teased more than you want, there are multiple ways to stop it without violence. There are many avenues to get help, please look into them and talk with someone before it comes to hurting yourself or someone else.
Think about your friends and your relationships with them. A lot of bullies don’t realize what they’re doing can hurt someone else, so think about what you do and make sure you yourself are not a bully. I’ve been made fun of for wearing glasses, having big teeth, and for twitching (at a Mariners game a couple years ago some punk teenager asked me if I was retarded after a twitching fit) and I have seen people made fun of for a whole array of other reasons. It can hurt. It can deeply affect people. Look out for your friends and stand up for them when they need it. Watch what you say and do, and accept people for their differences.
When I tell a joke, either to a big crowd or just a small group of people, I make fun of people only under one of two conditions: first, the person I make fun of is me, because I know I won’t hurt my own feelings; or second, I make sure the person I am making fun of is a friend of mine whom I know I will not offend with the joke. (Except my wife. She never knows when I make jokes about her, but “I do” came with an unwritten clause that jokes will be made on her behalf, and there’s nothing she can do about it. :) So I won’t make fun of a person right off the bat, and often times not even the first couple of times I meet them. I get to know people, what kind of sense of humor they have and how much they can take before I start cracking on them. (This formula has not always worked, and even though I thought I was in the clear, I have inadvertently hurt feelings before and it made me feel terrible when I realized it! That has never been my intention.)
The reason I choose to do this is because when my baby teeth fell out and my adult teeth grew in, Goofy was jealous! My two front teeth were MONSTERS! Look at those things, holy smokes! NASA could relay signals off those things. They’re still pretty big, but my face is finally fatter now than it was in 3rd grade. I got called Buck Tooth Beaver for 3rd and most of 4th grade. And it hurt. I think the last time I was called that, by someone other than my sisters, was 5th grade. 7th and 8th grade I got picked on more for getting better grades than my bullies (notice I said BETTER grades than them, and not GOOD grades. Because only in my head are “C”s good grades) and for my fashion sense. But that’s what happens when you chose to style yourself after Corey Matthews from Boy Meets World. Now, if I had tried to dress more like Shawn Hunter instead, maybe they wouldn’t have talked so much trash. He was cool. I was just curly hair away from calling myself Corey! But because I know how it feels when someone makes fun of you when you don’t want it, I try my hardest to make certain that the jokes I tell and the teasing I take part in is in pure fun. No malice or hurt feelings intended at all.
Unfortunately my method of teasing and joke telling isn’t the most common way it is done. A lot of people tease and pick on people for numerous reasons. From elementary school throughout adulthood, it happens. Even as an adult I have avoided walking through certain hallways or talking to certain people because I know there are people who don’t know when they’ve crossed the line, or perhaps they know and don’t care. Now I have pretty thick skin, and it takes a bit to truly offend me, but it still happens.
To kids being bullied may I offer a simple bit of advice? Confront your bully. I had one kid in 7th and 8th grade who picked on me constantly. I finally told him that I'd had enough and that he needed to knock it off. Much to my surprise, he apologized! He told me that he thought that it had all been in fun and that he didn’t know it was hurtful to me. We lived in the same neighborhood for about another year and he never did it again. We would wave in the hallways and he more or less ignored me after that. Kids have a funny way of thinking, and as a kid yourself you may not understand that yet, but trust me you do. I can’t guarantee it will work, but the first step I would suggest is to tell your bully to knock it off. (Then if that doesn’t work, punch him in the junk and run as fast as you can!)
On a serious note, if you are being bullied, picked on or teased more than you want, there are multiple ways to stop it without violence. There are many avenues to get help, please look into them and talk with someone before it comes to hurting yourself or someone else.
Think about your friends and your relationships with them. A lot of bullies don’t realize what they’re doing can hurt someone else, so think about what you do and make sure you yourself are not a bully. I’ve been made fun of for wearing glasses, having big teeth, and for twitching (at a Mariners game a couple years ago some punk teenager asked me if I was retarded after a twitching fit) and I have seen people made fun of for a whole array of other reasons. It can hurt. It can deeply affect people. Look out for your friends and stand up for them when they need it. Watch what you say and do, and accept people for their differences.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Understanding
My first experience with Tourette's came long before I even began exhibiting tics. A buddy of mine and I went up to Washington DC (this was the first time I lived in VA, for those keeping track) to see a game downtown. I don't remember if it was hockey or basketball, but it was a DC pro sports team in 2002, which means they probably lost. But we were on the metro after the game heading home and my buddy and I were sitting in the metro seats closest to the door. We offered our seats to others but nobody accepted, so we sat in the crowded car. There was a boy about 10 years old with his mother standing closest to us. He was holding the pole in the middle of the car for support and just staring out the window with a blank stare. After a few minutes of this, out of the blue clear sky, this kid yells like he just saw a ghost! My buddy literally jumped into his seat, over the back of it and ran to the far end of the car, scared out of his mind. My heart was racing as I sat there terrified, wondering was was behind me out the window that scared him and was it going to kill me. The boy quickly calmed down and returned to his blank stare while I, and most of the rest of the train, wondered 'what the hell was that?!' His mother leaned in to me and said, "I'm sorry about that. He has tourette's syndrome." I replied, "oh, ok. No problem." Once I understood that there wasn't a ghost sitting next to me, I was fine. My buddy finally returned to his seat once his heart rate dropped below 200 beats a minute.
Understanding is something that I have found a lot of people have, but it's often times hidden under many other emotions that come out first. I have found in my experience that a lot of people see that I have some kind of tic and immediately assume that I can't do things. Even the U.S. military has a rule when you try to join that any kind of tics disqualify you from military service. It took me going to 3 recruiters before I found one willing to overlook my tics, but look what they got out of it!
A tall guy in a goofy hat without a smile. But they also got the goal oriented, hard worker that I am.
It's almost a natural reaction to let our reservations appear before understanding. Some people see a person with a disability, either physical or mental, and immediately think that the person is incapable of doing things on their own. While this may be true, there is also a good chance that the person has learned to adapt whatever it is that makes them 'different' and can quite possibly surprise you with what they can accomplish. One of my favorite baseball pitchers when I was a kid was Jim Abbott. He was an amazing college and professional athlete who was born with only one hand. I looked up to him for being one of the best at what he did professionally and for overcoming something that many people can't imagine being faced with.
Needless to say, understanding goes far beyond employing and befriending people with TS. There are good people out there in every walk of life. From the age old prejudice of skin color and ethnicity, to physical and mental impairments to level of wealth, having people who have and exhibit understanding is what makes people want to be better. After fighting so hard to join the Air Force, once I enlisted I worked hard to ensure they had no reason to doubt their letting me join. (This included hiding tics the best I could for long periods of time.) When I accepted the job as a firefighter, not one person in the hiring process or rookie school minded that I had it. (They had issues with me bringing a camera crew with television producers and sound guys unexpectedly, but who wouldn't?!) But I still had the drive to be the best I could in rookie school and now every day as a firefighter. People around the world who aren't afraid of someone who is 'different,' who don't immediately jump to conclusions about others and give people who are 'different' a fair chance, they are often times the people who find golden nuggets of friends and employees that others have passed over.
Understanding is something that I have found a lot of people have, but it's often times hidden under many other emotions that come out first. I have found in my experience that a lot of people see that I have some kind of tic and immediately assume that I can't do things. Even the U.S. military has a rule when you try to join that any kind of tics disqualify you from military service. It took me going to 3 recruiters before I found one willing to overlook my tics, but look what they got out of it!
A tall guy in a goofy hat without a smile. But they also got the goal oriented, hard worker that I am.
It's almost a natural reaction to let our reservations appear before understanding. Some people see a person with a disability, either physical or mental, and immediately think that the person is incapable of doing things on their own. While this may be true, there is also a good chance that the person has learned to adapt whatever it is that makes them 'different' and can quite possibly surprise you with what they can accomplish. One of my favorite baseball pitchers when I was a kid was Jim Abbott. He was an amazing college and professional athlete who was born with only one hand. I looked up to him for being one of the best at what he did professionally and for overcoming something that many people can't imagine being faced with.
Needless to say, understanding goes far beyond employing and befriending people with TS. There are good people out there in every walk of life. From the age old prejudice of skin color and ethnicity, to physical and mental impairments to level of wealth, having people who have and exhibit understanding is what makes people want to be better. After fighting so hard to join the Air Force, once I enlisted I worked hard to ensure they had no reason to doubt their letting me join. (This included hiding tics the best I could for long periods of time.) When I accepted the job as a firefighter, not one person in the hiring process or rookie school minded that I had it. (They had issues with me bringing a camera crew with television producers and sound guys unexpectedly, but who wouldn't?!) But I still had the drive to be the best I could in rookie school and now every day as a firefighter. People around the world who aren't afraid of someone who is 'different,' who don't immediately jump to conclusions about others and give people who are 'different' a fair chance, they are often times the people who find golden nuggets of friends and employees that others have passed over.
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