Easily Influenced

I recently saw a commercial for an acne cure on MTV. (A little side note that I find frustrating about the current status of the world: I turn on MTV to watch reruns of shows that I watched when they were new shows on ABC on prime time. These days, shows that were only on MTV after 10pm when I was a kid are now being shown on ABC Family prime time. Not pertinent to this post, but irritating as a parent of young children.) The acne commercial claims like they all do to be the newest, greatest cure-all for acne. And they have some great 'before and after' photos of teenagers who presumably used their product. Unfortunately, to anybody who wears makeup or has spent any time around people who wear lots of makeup, it is blatantly obvious in the commercial that the 'before' pictures are makeup-less and the 'after' pictures are the same teenagers COATED with makeup. And knowing that they are predominantly preying on the money of young teenagers, they will make millions from the advertising. Young teenagers easily fall victim to self image and will flock to the product hoping for the 'after' look that (and this is my opinion) will probably only come with copious amounts of makeup.

But we grow out of that, right? I haven't been easily influenced since I was a teenager looking to rid myself of a few pimples. Yeah right!! Unfortunately, peer pressure does not end with high school. You will feel pressure from your coworkers, friends and even relatives throughout your life. And just as teenagers need to be weary of being too easily influenced, adults of all ages need to take a step back and really think about what kind of influence something, or someone, is having on them. As a youth it is easy to just go with the flow and do what your friends are doing, even if you know it's not right or something you particularly want to do. And you know what, it is just as easy to go with the flow as an adult. The difficult part of life, from elementary school through retirement, is being yourself. Standing up for what you believe, whatever it may be, and standing by your personal values may make you an outcast to some, but there is a quiet majority out there whose respect you will earn by doing so. People who go with the flow may seem popular and the boss (or most popular kid if you're still in school) may seem to like them, but you can stand out from the crowd by not going with the flow, especially if what their doing violates your personal values and beliefs. And while they may not say anything immediately or directly to you, your boss (and the popular kid) notice, and down the road that will work out in your favor.

Being easily influenced is not the same as taking advice. Anybody older than you, whether they are five years older than you or seventy-five years, has more life experience than you. You may know more than they do about making pizzas or about the study of religion, but they have been on earth longer than you and have that much more experience with interacting with others. (This is not always evident or a good thing, so use your best judgement) Whether or not you solicit it, people will give you advice. And my recommendation across the board is: take it! The very least you can do is listen to their advice. You may use it and you may not, but by simply listening you are opening yourself up to the opportunity to learn something that could better yourself. And if you don't like their advice, or if the advice doesn't work for or apply to you, you can keep it in the back of your mind and pass it along to others who may get help from it. I work with young people quite often through church and events in the community (I generally categorize 'young people' as 25 and under) and one things I have found is that young people today do not like getting advice from others. The simple act of listening seems to some to be a chore. I have personally seen young people dismiss advice from medical professionals, subject matter experts and their own parents. And it makes me feel bad for the young person because they are dismissing the chance to learn.

Our prisons are more full than ever, unemployment benefits have become an expected source of income and people searching for minimum wage jobs (such as fast food and grocery checkout for instance) are asking for starting wages more than police, nurses and firefighters make. The people filling the prisons, asking for $15 per hour to flip burgers and anxiously awaiting their next unemployment check without trying to find a job are the same people that are refusing to listen to the counsel and advice of others. Dismissing free advice is like skipping school; you're robbing yourself of an opportunity to learn something that could quite possibly make you and your situation better.

I have sat in many meetings, from Dominos Pizza to the Air Force to the Fire Department (and all the small jobs in between) where I was being instructed by someone whom I did not respect in their position, for whatever various reason. But I never focused on my feelings toward those individuals. I focused on the meeting. Some things did not apply to me then, and still have not. Some have impacted my life greatly. Regardless of what I learned in those meetings and who taught them, I paid attention and learned from others. Free advice, free education. Don't pass any opportunity to learn. Ever.

I realize that there are young people out there who are very intelligent and are more than open to the advice of others. To you I say don't be easily influenced by others taking the easy way out. Continue to be you; work hard and learn every day. To the young teenagers reading, those pimples will go away. Don't focus so much on what you look like in 8th grade because ten years from now you'll look completely different anyway. And to all, while taking advice and criticism from others, don't be as easily influenced as you are eager to learn and better yourself. Influence others to be their best by being your best.

Optimism

Optimism is a funny thing. Being able to see the upside of things comes easy to some and with much difficulty to others. Is it a choice or part of our unconscious? I don't know, and I don't really care. (This answer is the same reason I did not do too well in philosophy or psychology in high school.) But I've always found it easy to see the bright side of everything. Sometimes it is even funny. One of our first arguments as a married couple was because I was too positive and she was too negative. Some people fight about real things, we chose silly things like that. But she's right; I have always been so optimistic that it has led me to do things a lot of people wouldn't. I laugh at my own neurological disorder, I had no problem walking right up to the prettiest girls and asking them out (Now hearing "no" that many times kind hurts the ol' optimism.) and it makes me just smile through things. It takes a lot to get me worked up and mad. I had a fellow employee at Domino's tell me once that even when I was upset I was still smiling and people couldn't tell that I was mad.

With that in mind, optimism was tested recently when my family flew out to have the most horrible, unforgettable family vacation I have ever experienced! First of all, we flew to Spokane, Washington.

As you can tell, I had the cutest flying companions anyone has ever gotten to fly next to. They were great on the plane, no crying or screaming at all. We got lots of compliments from our fellow passengers about how good they were. Now Spokane, this place is ugly. Or so I've heard. I don't know for myself because we landed on Monday afternoon and drove out of town Friday morning, and it was foggy the whole time! I'm talking San Francisco fog. The most visibility we had during the entire week was about a quarter of a mile. So I've heard it is an ugly part of the state, but I kind of enjoyed it; found it much like I imagine it would be to live on the clouds. Except with traffic.

The adventure then took us on a drive across the mountains to the Seattle side of the state. As we drove into the valley, we got to see this beauty:

Mt. Rainier. A welcome site for someone who has been away from the area for any amount of time. The moment was short lived though because it's Seattle. It began raining an hour later and did not stop for the rest of our trip!

One of the reasons we went out was to celebrate my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary! Congratulations to them! 50 years,can you imagine? I'm at the 5 year mark with mine and I'm already scouting rural places in the woods! We had a spectacular time visiting with them, seeing all 12 of their children together at the same time and reliving some memories we have and many many others we have heard about that happened before my time. It was a wonderful party, a good time, and I am quite proud to have them as grandparents!

The next day we had a cousins' birthday party coupled together with a Super Bowl party. Being a huge Seahawks fan, there is no need to go much farther into that...

So here is where the optimism comes in. This was my precious daughter the day after the Super Bowl. My grandfather pointed out to me that 27 people were at the birthday/super bowl party and 23 came down with a norovirus! We spent Monday through Friday on my cousins' couch losing our guts! We took turns too! Addie got it first, then me then my wife. Our son was ill the whole time but not nearly as bad as the rest of us. His diaper rash was the stuff of infamous legends though. Poor kid. BUT, he didn't puke, so he may have actually won, I'm not sure?

We went on a 14 day vacation and spent 6 of the days sicker than dogs. We only got to see about two-thirds of the people we planned to see, and if it wasn't for my grandparents party we would have only seen about a quarter of them.

We weren't able to eat normally, without the fear of exploding, for two days after we returned home. But you know what...I had a blast! Sure the virus was horrible, but this is what it was all about. I got to see most of both sides of my family. Because my family is so large and so spread out around the country, we don't get together very often as a whole. And while not everybody was able to be there, we got to see more than we thought we would. My wife and I got to eat at two of our favorite restaurants, which they have neither of in Arkansas: Red Robin and Chili Thai.

While some people would focus on the fact that we were sick and felt like dying, I like to look on the happier times of the messed up trip. And I have to give a special shout out to my parents and sisters and wife. The last time we all got together a year ago I wanted to eat at the Old Spaghetti Factory in Dallas. We weren't able to because of time constraints. So this time, all together in Spokane, they took me out there. I had a blast. We didn't eat until after 8 and it was raining and foggy, but it was awesome. Then I come to learn afterwards that I was the ONLY one in that group who actually likes the Old Spaghetti Factory. So here's a toast to small sacrifices for the ones you love! (And to my three sisters, I think this proves that I just may be the favorite.)

Valentines Day

I was talking with a friend of mine yesterday and we were asking each other what our plans were for Valentines Day. He told me his plans and I told him that I had none. Over the course of our short conversation (it was short because we had just gotten off work and were ready to get home) he changed my mind on Valentines Day. Perhaps he didn't change my mind, but he reminded me about something that I forgot.

First of all, my thoughts on Valentines Day: People always complain every year that Christmas is a holiday invented by the toy and greeting card companies to make money. While that may be true to some small degree, Valentines Day is 100% that very day! Now the 'origin' of Valentines Day goes back to a cleansing, health and fertility festival in Ancient Rome, so there is an aspect of love and hearts and all that (or at least fertility) back to the beginning, but it wasn't until the 1500s that people began exchanging gifts, cards and candy to show affection for another. And THAT happened after February 14th was dedicated to honor St. Valentine (in the 5th century) on a day attempted to Christianize the now-bastardized pagan festival that had replaced what the Ancient Romans had once celebrated. Some sources even give credit to Geoffrey Chaucer for making it the affectionate holiday we now know today. In any case, I'm not denying that this holiday may actually have origins in love and affection, but what we celebrate today is, in my opinion, dumb.

How my friend changed my views yesterday is he agreed with me to some degree. He said as an adult, yes it's dumb. But as a kid, it's a great holiday. And he's right! Remember being in 3rd grade, seeing that girl sitting across the class that for some unknown reason sticks out from all the other girls in class. You made sure to pick out your best valentine for her, and hoped silently that you got one from her. It's fun. It's a fun day as a child. I do remember getting and giving valentines up until about 6th grade or so, and it was fun to see what you got, and especially to find out who liked you back! But after middle and high school, why do we celebrate it?

How much stronger will your marriage/relationship be if you stop celebrating Valentines Day? Pick a day, any day, August 19? April 23? Without telling your significant other, go buy him/her flowers and their favorite candy. Why? Just because! You love this person, and they love you. You are in an active relationship; why limit going all out to show that special someone how special they are on one publicly celebrated day in February? On top of the fact that flowers are more expensive on Valentines Day and that restaurants are full of other couples taking up just two seats at a six-top table at your favorite place to eat, it's not at all original to celebrate today. People have been doing it since the 1500s, do you really think you're the first? Proposing in tulips from a hot air balloon, naming a star in her honor, getting the same picture with her every single Valentines Day since you first met, they've all been done. Be original. Pick a day in the middle of the year when neither of you have anything going and surprise your significant other with your own day to show affection. Do that and tell me your relationship isn't stronger.

For those of you reading thinking I'm just a pissed off single man who can't find a girl to be with, know that roughly 60% of Americans celebrate this 'magical' day. That means at least some portion of 40% of people agree with me. I'm married and got lucky enough to marry a woman who agrees with me. 5 years of marriage and I don't know if either of us has ever said 'Happy Valentines Day' to the other. But I do randomly bring home flowers from work, and have been known to bring home a 1 lb bag of Skittles for her. And sometimes she even shares the Skittles with me!

So for those of you younguns who are trying to figure out why that girl who just gave you a Hunger Games valentines card makes you feel funny inside, Happy Valentines Day to you! And to everyone else, Happy Valentines Day too, but think about making that special someone feel special everyday, not just today.