Easily Influenced

I recently saw a commercial for an acne cure on MTV. (A little side note that I find frustrating about the current status of the world: I turn on MTV to watch reruns of shows that I watched when they were new shows on ABC on prime time. These days, shows that were only on MTV after 10pm when I was a kid are now being shown on ABC Family prime time. Not pertinent to this post, but irritating as a parent of young children.) The acne commercial claims like they all do to be the newest, greatest cure-all for acne. And they have some great 'before and after' photos of teenagers who presumably used their product. Unfortunately, to anybody who wears makeup or has spent any time around people who wear lots of makeup, it is blatantly obvious in the commercial that the 'before' pictures are makeup-less and the 'after' pictures are the same teenagers COATED with makeup. And knowing that they are predominantly preying on the money of young teenagers, they will make millions from the advertising. Young teenagers easily fall victim to self image and will flock to the product hoping for the 'after' look that (and this is my opinion) will probably only come with copious amounts of makeup.

But we grow out of that, right? I haven't been easily influenced since I was a teenager looking to rid myself of a few pimples. Yeah right!! Unfortunately, peer pressure does not end with high school. You will feel pressure from your coworkers, friends and even relatives throughout your life. And just as teenagers need to be weary of being too easily influenced, adults of all ages need to take a step back and really think about what kind of influence something, or someone, is having on them. As a youth it is easy to just go with the flow and do what your friends are doing, even if you know it's not right or something you particularly want to do. And you know what, it is just as easy to go with the flow as an adult. The difficult part of life, from elementary school through retirement, is being yourself. Standing up for what you believe, whatever it may be, and standing by your personal values may make you an outcast to some, but there is a quiet majority out there whose respect you will earn by doing so. People who go with the flow may seem popular and the boss (or most popular kid if you're still in school) may seem to like them, but you can stand out from the crowd by not going with the flow, especially if what their doing violates your personal values and beliefs. And while they may not say anything immediately or directly to you, your boss (and the popular kid) notice, and down the road that will work out in your favor.

Being easily influenced is not the same as taking advice. Anybody older than you, whether they are five years older than you or seventy-five years, has more life experience than you. You may know more than they do about making pizzas or about the study of religion, but they have been on earth longer than you and have that much more experience with interacting with others. (This is not always evident or a good thing, so use your best judgement) Whether or not you solicit it, people will give you advice. And my recommendation across the board is: take it! The very least you can do is listen to their advice. You may use it and you may not, but by simply listening you are opening yourself up to the opportunity to learn something that could better yourself. And if you don't like their advice, or if the advice doesn't work for or apply to you, you can keep it in the back of your mind and pass it along to others who may get help from it. I work with young people quite often through church and events in the community (I generally categorize 'young people' as 25 and under) and one things I have found is that young people today do not like getting advice from others. The simple act of listening seems to some to be a chore. I have personally seen young people dismiss advice from medical professionals, subject matter experts and their own parents. And it makes me feel bad for the young person because they are dismissing the chance to learn.

Our prisons are more full than ever, unemployment benefits have become an expected source of income and people searching for minimum wage jobs (such as fast food and grocery checkout for instance) are asking for starting wages more than police, nurses and firefighters make. The people filling the prisons, asking for $15 per hour to flip burgers and anxiously awaiting their next unemployment check without trying to find a job are the same people that are refusing to listen to the counsel and advice of others. Dismissing free advice is like skipping school; you're robbing yourself of an opportunity to learn something that could quite possibly make you and your situation better.

I have sat in many meetings, from Dominos Pizza to the Air Force to the Fire Department (and all the small jobs in between) where I was being instructed by someone whom I did not respect in their position, for whatever various reason. But I never focused on my feelings toward those individuals. I focused on the meeting. Some things did not apply to me then, and still have not. Some have impacted my life greatly. Regardless of what I learned in those meetings and who taught them, I paid attention and learned from others. Free advice, free education. Don't pass any opportunity to learn. Ever.

I realize that there are young people out there who are very intelligent and are more than open to the advice of others. To you I say don't be easily influenced by others taking the easy way out. Continue to be you; work hard and learn every day. To the young teenagers reading, those pimples will go away. Don't focus so much on what you look like in 8th grade because ten years from now you'll look completely different anyway. And to all, while taking advice and criticism from others, don't be as easily influenced as you are eager to learn and better yourself. Influence others to be their best by being your best.

Where have you been??

Hello again. I'm back!! Some of you may be wondering "why haven't you posted in the last three weeks," and I wondered that myself. I thought maybe it's because I was stuffed from the Thanksgiving feast. But that's not it. My pants are tighter now though... Perhaps my absence is because I was busy as my alter ego, saving the big city and getting the girl. But no. Little Rock is not a big city, and super heroes pants aren't snug. I was actually touring the mid-west United States with a traveling wild-west show as the horse poop cleaner/rodeo clown. I tried to do both jobs at the same time one night during a show, got trampled by a bull and underwent a brain-replacement operation at the state hospital in Phulaschit, Nebraska. The TRUTH is, we've both been working a lot and the two times I sat down to write in the past few weeks, I've had a completely blank mind. Writers block. (wild-west story was better huh?!)

I read an article earlier this year that I found very interesting, but I also found it is a very touchy point for some people. The article was here on Time.com and entitled "ADHD Does Not Exist." See, touchy and controversial right there in the title. A good, interesting read if you have five minutes, but if not it is a behavioral neurologist with over 50 years experience in the field, (dude must be OOOOOLLLLLDLDDD) who has practiced under the thought or pretense that ADHD doesn't exist and that by curing underlying issues, the symptoms of ADHD go away. Now I'm not here to start a rally or upset friends who have kids who, or themselves, have ADHD, so calm down. There have been enough 'movements' started in the last few weeks that we don't need another one. I just read the article and did some more googling (because that's what amateur research is these days) and found that treating underlying issues to cure common symptoms is not an uncommon practice at all. So I took to google and my local yellow pages (again, via google) and thought about applying that to my TS.

I know through my own experience and research that TS is often associated with anxiety and OCD. Exactly how they correlate seems to be a foggy area that 'experts' don't seem to agree on 100%, but they agree the conditions do correlate. So I connected with a Psychologist and spoke with her about what behavior therapy is and how to use that to treat my tics. Knowing the anxiety that I have as well as some of the obsessive-compulsive tendencies I have exhibited in the past, our sessions have been her digging into my brain (figuratively of course. I do enough literal brain digging through my nose sitting at red lights) and asking open ended questions to literally figure out what makes me tic. Since I met my wife 4 1/2 years ago, when I try something new to minimize my tics I will ask her if she has noticed a difference, and the answer has always been no.

As I've been seeing the psychologist I've learned more about myself, and even more about Tourette's, and have been given all kinds of pointers to help combat the anxiety and the OCD. While I'm not cured (that wasn't my expectation anyway) I finally had my wife say that I seem to twitch less recently! After all the punches I've thrown and the eyes I've poked, hearing her say that I felt like this:

So while I still twitch, it was nice to feel some improvement, and even better to have someone else who sees me every day to acknowledge it as well. And I'm sure my kids appreciate how much better I've become at not blowing air into their faces!

I like to continually learn and try to improve, not just with TS but with everything. I strive every day to be a better husband, father, brother, firefighter, Christian and every other aspect of my life. Life is hard. My sister just told me this morning that being a parent is hard. (amen!) But it's all part of life. Better yourself so you can help better others.

And finally. My beautiful little girl turned 3 this last week. Happy Birthday Cutie!! She can't decide from one minute to the next if she is Doc McStuffins, Queen Elsa, Sleeping Beauty or one of the Bubble Guppies, but I love all of her! And I'm not ashamed to admit I can sing along with all the aforementioned songs. (I may even sing "Let It Go" better than Queen Elsa herself...)

Update!

In the winter/spring of 2013, National Geographic followed my family and me around Little Rock for awhile, filming the everyday aspects of our lives and my going through the hiring process with the fire department. I had a blast with the cameras around and meeting with the various camera operators and sound techs and producers. I was hoping Life with Tourette’s would be a season-long show, but only one episode was aired and I didn’t hear anything else from it. (And I actually can’t find it ANYWHERE! I’ve had a few people ask to see it, and I have no idea if there’s record of it anywhere, so if any of you computer savvy internet geniuses know where to find it, let me know!!) So I thought since the show kind of left people hanging on what happened to me, I’d update y’all now.

Since the show I did in fact get hired on the FD. I worked hard and waited a long time to get the job, and I was ecstatic when I got the call from the chief of the Little Rock Fire Department offering me the job. I get to go to work now every day (well, actually it’s every 3rd day) at what I think is the greatest job in the world! One thing that didn’t make the airwaves was me walking into the fire department for the first time with a whole entourage of people with cameras, microphones and clipboards. The FD was nice enough to play along but I was quickly reminded how generally unhappy they were about the surprise visit. They lived though, and now I get to be one of those guys I used to look up to when a fire truck went racing by.

I’ve developed a number of new tics since the show. A person with Tourette’s has tics that change over time. Some tics get better, some get worse, and some new ones develop while old ones go away. In the show I was hitting myself in the back of the neck pretty hard and regularly. I don’t do that so much anymore, which is nice! That particular tic hurt!! But one tic I’ve had for a long time, touching the eyes of pictures and in mirrors (which is more of an OCD based tic than a neurological tic,) has gotten worse. I started to poke other people in the eye! I only did it for a couple days to my children before working really hard to change that tic. I definitely don’t want to hurt them! And…I don’t want to get punched in the face. At work one night we were loading our hose back onto the engine after a fire and I reached up and almost poked a co-worker in the eye. I stopped myself because if I did that, and he decked me, I wouldn’t have blamed him one bit! So that is the most recent ‘new tic’ that I am working on. I no longer poke my kids in the eyes, but I still run my hands over their face, which my almost-3-year-old has told me is “noying Daddy.”

Other than a new job and new tics, we’ve also added a new member to the family! When my daughter was born I didn’t think I could love anyone or anything as much as I love her. Then my son was born and I found out the amazing feelings of love and happiness that come from having two. I go to work every day and smile because I love my job, then I come home from work and have a bigger smile because I get to have these two waiting for me when I walk in. Addie turns 3 next month and Dallin just hit 6 months, and both are growing like weeds! They are without a doubt the greatest joy in my life.

I’ve also had the chance to meet new friends since I was on the show. (What’s up Tyler!) I have a lot of fun talking with others who have or know people with TS and just get to know them and hear their stories. The news and current events make you believe otherwise, but I think most people are awesome. Every person is different than the next and that is what makes the world interesting.

Life changes and I’ve learned to embrace it. Some changes are big, major changes that alter your whole life while others are so minor that other people don’t notice. But that’s all part of life. Roll with the punches, even if you’re throwing them at yourself!