Controversial topics

Je tiens à remercier les gens en France qui lisent mon blog!

Whether your belief in the history of the world comes from the Bible, from history & science books or from cave drawings whose dates can only be estimated to thousand-year time frames, one thing is certain: people have been fighting and not getting along for as long as we have record. Drawings on walls of ancient tombs in the middle east depict great battles, the Bible speaks of great battles, and, as George Lucas has informed us, this has been going on since a long time ago (and apparently not just in our galaxy). People today find hundreds of reasons to hate each other, just as they have done since...always.

Growing up, when myself or any of my sisters were being sensitive or over dramatic, my father would use a phrase that my sisters and I now look back on with fondness and a smile. My oldest sister Kristi and I were living in our apartment not long after she graduated high school and we decided to go to Blockbuster (remember those?!) and rent a movie. We settled on Stripes, because we like Bill Murray and we had both heard it's a comedy classic. A quarter of the way through the movie we were shocked and laughed real hard when we found that our dad's phrase was actually a phrase used by Sgt Hulka. Even though the movie is older than my sisters and me, we all still consider it our dad's saying: "Lighten up, Francis."

In the news lately it seems all we hear about are 'controversial topics.' Racism, abortion, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, the success/failure of President Obama, gay rights, etc. People protest, riot, kill, starve themselves and get their blood pressure all boiled up over these topics. If you ask me, I think a good first step to resolve most of these issues is for everyone to lighten up! Believe it or not (and for people 30 and under, this may be hard to believe) but these issues AREN'T new! All of the 'controversial topics' I listed have been mainstream news for anywhere from 30 years to thousands of years. The first thing that we need to do is to lighten up, and realize that the person across from you, getting you all riled up, is in fact a person too. They may not be perfect, but nether are you! So you disagree with their views on politics, and you think they are completely wrong. Good. They think something differently than you do about your government leaders. Good. Just because their views are different than yours, why do you have to hate them?

One of the reasons (and quite possibly the only reason) I pay attention to my friends/family/coworkers talking about 'controversial topics' is because I can learn from the conversation. Not only can I learn two opposing views of the topic, I get to learn how the people involved act, react and how they truly feel. I personally have friends who vigorously support gay marriage and I have friends who vehemently oppose it. I have a number of friends who are gay and a couple of them have been married in the states in which they live. When I see two people arguing, coming close to blows while discussing why it's right or wrong, the part that bothers me isn't their views, it's the fact that they can't accept that they both have an opinion. There is no understanding (even though the phrase 'I understand your point' or 'I see where you're coming from, but...' are often used in those conversations.) If you were to ask me, I would give you my view and I will openly listen to yours. I won't get mad because I've learned that life's too short to argue about 'controversial topics' and that getting your blood boiling isn't good for anyone. Will we agree? Maybe. Will my views on you as a person change if we disagree, probably not. While I have not perfected it yet, I'm learning and trying to lighten up.

Think of the opportunities and friendships you may be missing out on because of your stubbornness. When I was in high school, I had a buddy who I was good friends with. We'd hang out, go snowmobiling and snowboarding, got along great. Then one day, out of the blue, he severed all contact with me. After a few weeks of pestering him for an answer, he finally explained to me that because of something he had read online, about my religious preference, we could no longer be friends. I was saddened not only to lose his friendship over such a silly reason, but also because the information he had read was incorrect, and did not say anything true about my religious preference and the topic he was researching. I guarantee that a little open mindedness on his part, and probably some better explaining on mine, would have changed the way our friendship turned out. And similar example can be found in the lives of just about every person on earth.

Lighten up. Don't just claim to understand someone's views, truly try to understand them. Then when you do understand them and still don't agree with them, leave it at that. Neither of you are breaking the law by having and voicing your opinion. Learn from one another. You can be open minded and still keep your personal beliefs. If you're pro-life, you can have friends that are pro-choice. If you disagree with gay marriage, you can still have homosexual friends. Have an open mind and don't be afraid of what you'll learn from another person. Forget your racial, religious and financial differences and think about them as a human being. They've probably got similar hopes and dreams as you do. It's uptight, ignorant and closed-minded people that prevent progress. Don't be a person that prevents progress.

Can you dream too big?

First of all, this last weekend was a sad one in the world of sports. I remember watching Sportscenter before school in 3rd or 4th grade, much to my mothers dismay because I was usually late, and I can still name the crews I used to love to see updating me on all the latest sports news: Dan Patrick, Rich Eiesen and Stuart Scott. Like many of the sports fans around the world, I was very saddened to wake up Sunday and hear that Stuart Scott had passed away. It's hard to find the words. He was great at his job and an even better human being. I don't think any true sports fan flips their pillow over without hearing his voice. May he rest in peace. If you haven't heard his speech from the 2014 ESPYs, Click here. It is emotional, inspiring and just plain fantastic.

"Too much fun, what's that mean?" A question posed by a country singer when I was about 10 or 11 years old. It's still a song I turn up when it comes on the radio. (Which isn't very often. If you listen to the radio anymore, it's mostly the same 20 or 25 songs performed by more-or-less talent-less bands, played over and over and over again all day long. Seems like you have to find just the right station or use Pandora, satellite radio and similar options to hear good music by a good band anymore!) I was playing all kinds of different music today while hanging out with my son. He's seven months old and the music doesn't entertain him nearly as much as watching his daddy strum an air guitar while jumping around the house and singing terribly.

I was thinking today about all the goals I currently have in life and the question crossed my mind, can you dream too big? What dreams do you have and what is preventing you from chasing them? America was built on dreams. Pilgrims settled in America dreaming of freedom from their rulers. Dreams of wealth and gold sent thousands of people to the west coast, and dreams of skyscrapers and railroads made Andrew Carnegie and incredibly wealthy man. The inequalities of America were challenged head on, led by a pastor born in Atlanta, Georgia who is most often remembered by a speech he gave in which he used the famous words "I have a dream." Dreams are what drive us as individuals and as a nation. The same is true for people and nations around the world. All dreams, no matter how small, have a price. Knowing what your dream is, how badly you want it and whether or not it's worth that cost is a driving force we often over look. Whether it's getting yourself out of debt or to becoming the leader of your country, what we do every day drives us toward our dreams, When we stop dreaming and stop trying to achieve those dreams, we stop really living.

As I sit here today I still chase lofty goals (and by lofty I mean some are goals that I know will probably never come to fruition. I mean, what good is a 2 million dollar yacht in the landlocked state in which I live?) I am writing a book. I started it about 7 years ago, took some long breaks and focused on other things in life, but my best guess is I'm within 1 year of finally having it ready to be published. That's one goal. I also have a stand up comedy routine in my head. I could go up on stage right now and make you laugh (or attempt to!) for 15 solid minutes and possibly as long as half hour, I'm also preparing to audition for a movie shooting this spring here around Arkansas. Attempting to be a stand up comic and an actor are made slightly difficult by the limited opportunities that come from living in Arkansas and not being able to openly travel for the auditions, but it's still fun to shoot for the few, usually small opportunities that come this way. On top of those dreams, I often throw ideas by my wife on what I call 'money making' ideas. The only one my wife actually enjoys hearing about is franchising a Red Robin here in central Arkansas. (THAT one probably won't come true because apparently you need 3 MILLION dollars to franchise with them, and I'm right about 3 million dollars short of that!) Even though I realize that few, if any, of those dreams will come completely true, I still dream them.

I personally don't think you can dream too big. Maybe one day I will have a New York Times bestseller, or maybe you'll see my multimillion dollar yacht cruising Lake Ouchita someday. You never know. For me, I make sure everything is in order here at home so that I can dream those dreams, and maybe one day one of them will come true. If you want to be a billionaire, if you want to study penguins in Antarctica, or if your goal is simply to complete your degree, do it. Your dreams are neither too big or too small.

Dream. Chase those dreams. Share your dreams. Make yourself better along the journey and help others to achieve theirs.